Regular Joe

"Regular Joe," by Ashton Shepherd is one of my favorite songs.  In the last few months I have been dating a man who fits the description of Ashton's "Regular Joe." He is a very good man.  He is honest with me; more importantly he seems to be honest with himself & know himself.  He is fun, educated, interesting, driven, and quite caring.

I met Joe about two years ago, but it wasn't until this past December that I started to see what he had to offer. He is all those things I have dreamed of and wanted to find in a man.  You know the man you dream up as Mr. Right? Well maybe he isn't exactly Mr. Right, but Joe has certainly checked off many of the boxes I always wanted to be filled, but never were with any of the other guys I dated. 

I have finally begun to see what real happiness might be with another person. Our time together is limited but when we are together I experience this calm happiness. My mind quiets, I laugh even more than I normally do, and I feel myself growing as a person.  It just feels "right." It feels good.

I feel very comfortable around him. While I still try to impress him by getting dolled up, etc. to me, being with Joe is like slipping on my Allegheny College sweatpants after being in a pencil skirt all day at work.  I can get around him and just slip into my "real" self. 

I don't know if Joe and I will ever officially be a couple.  There are many reasons for that. But what Joe has given me is some assurance.  There is another person out there who can check off most of the boxes I have for "Mr. Right." There is a person out there, besides my best friends, who I can be myself with, while I still try to impress him a little.  Joe knows the "real me" and luckily he hasn't run for the hills yet. 

http://youtu.be/go-VeP4A2m8 Check out "Regular Joe"

Look at These Photographs

As I look at the photographs that I shoved in my closet back in September, I do not feel anything. In fact, I don't recognize that girl or that boy who stood there smiling together.  I know that one point my heart overflowed with love for him. But now, I can't even call up a small amount of that feeling.  Or even a feeling of missing him.

When I drove to Georgia two weeks ago, I realized I have transformed so much of myself in the last several months. It started back last May and it has continued. The woman I am today is not the same girl I was last May, or June, or even September.  So much loss, commotion, and grief has been felt by my heart in the last year. On account of that, when I look at those photographs of Maj and I, don't recognize him and I seriously don't recognize myself. I feel like I am looking at pictures of myself from high school; that's how changed I feel I have become in the last year.