My Mr. Right

I'm in love with Luke Bryan.  If you've read previous blog entries or know me personally you already know this undeniable fact about me.  Whenever I get out of a relationship I fall back on him, and he catches me every time.  To me, he is the ideal man; my perfect mate; my Mr. Right.

Now, I realize I do not personally know Luke Bryan, but the "Luke Bryan" that I do know, I am madly in love with as he personifies the attributes I would like to find in a man.

"Luke" grew up on his family peanut farm in Leesburg, Georgia.  I love Georgia and Leesburg is very country.  He has wanted to be a singer since he was young and planned to go to Nashville after high school graduation.  However, his brother unexpectedly passed away and he changed his plans to stay near his family.  Instead, he enrolled at Georgia Southern and became a brother of Sigma Chi.  Afterwards he went back to his family's farm and helped out.  Eventually he chose to pursue his dream of music and moved to Nashville. He worked for nearly 10 years trying to achieve his dream of a record label and hit songs.  But he didn't give up. He kept chasing his dream, even though it didn't happen over night [which is crazy. Why wouldn't you sign a voice like his?!] Personally, I hope to have the same story in a few years. Go from being the farmer's daughter to having a successful career in a big city.  He is also into fishing, camping, and all those outdoorsy-country man activities.  His songs, tell me a lot about him too.  He has many party songs- songs about drinking beer and having a great time.  He has songs about falling in love; so he has a sweet side to him.  He has songs about family and where he grew up.  He has break up songs; so he has been hurt before too.  He isn't defined by one emotion or one attitude. He has many different and exciting facets of his personality.

Yes, I sound crazy. And I promise I am well aware that he is married and completely unattainable. However, a Single Gal needs some comfort in her life. Someone to rely on when the depths of loneliness haunt her nights.  That's where "Luke" comes in. Not only can I go to his music and listen as he comforts me, but he also helps me think that there is a guy out there for me...somewhere. And right now my goal is to figure out the check list I need to help me find My Mr. Right.

Meeting Luke Bryan

Well, it happened. I have met a celebrity.  I was lucky enough at the end of January to win not only tickets to the Chris Morgan, Luke Bryan, & Rascal Flatts concert, but I also won tickets to a meet & greet opportunity with none other than LUKE BRYAN!!

I was so excited and shocked that words can not properly describe it.  So my best friend Alisha & I drove 6 hours to Dayton, Ohio for the show & meet and greet!!!!


I was estatic, as we were the first girls in line to meet Mr. Bryan! :) He spoke to me in his sweet Southern drawl and I melted on the spot as I told him I had driven from Buffalo to see him that evening (however, I left out the fact that I had driven 14 hours to Carrollton, GA to see him in September & 16 hours to Duluth, GA to see him in November--minor details!!)


So feel free to feel what I want you to feel- jealous of my awesome oppotunity! But the reason I am bragging/sharing my experience is the fact that I can cross off another thing off my Before I'm 30 List. Who knew I'd have the amazing chance to do it so soon after it's creation?! And who knew I'd win this chance off his website?!?!


And if you haven't looked Luke Bryan up yet and listened to some of his stuff, especially his EP special song, you really need to get on it!!! http://www.lukebryan.com/

Kind Of Pretty I Like

As you are probably already aware, I am in love with Luke Bryan! I think he is an amazing country artist. He writes almost every single song on his albums. I think his voice is beautifully charming. His music sooths my soul, no matter what kind of mood I am in. 

This is one of my new favorite songs from him. I am hoping it is on his new album in 2011! It's called "Kind of Pretty I Like."

The reason I love this song so much is because its something I have always wanted. I am not the most beautiful woman in the world...I wish, but I wanna be the kind of pretty my man likes.

What woman doesn't want to know that her man still thinks she is sexy no matter what she is wearing? How can you not want a guy to fall in love with you while you are messing with the radio in his truck?

I'm a simple girl. I like simple things. Luke's song is about a guy still being crazy about his girl when she is doing normal, everyday, simple things. It makes me smile. :-)

Define "Man"

"Country Man" by Luke Bryan is one of my favorite country songs. Rather than give you the lyrics, I'm just going to talk about what a "man" is. Because I think I have finally realized a definition of "man" [in contrast to "boy" or "guy"].

A man is someone who can take care of himself. Not only is he capable of taking care of himself in an independent manner, but he is more than willing to help out his friends when they are in need. He will move them across the country. He will get them out of a bad situation. He will calm them down when they are raging mad. He will give them the shirt off his back. 

A man is loyal. He will care for his lady. He will treat her like a precious stone, one that he feels he has been entrusted to care for.  He will protect her, but if she needs it, he will give her her independence.  He does not smother her.  He does stuff just to make her happy, like take out the trash without being nagged.

A man is responsible. He works. He gets paid. He provides.  He does it the best he can. He tries very hard. He doesn't bail. Ever.

A man is the one who deserves a beer sometimes after a long day or project.  A man is someone who sometimes needs to be alone to be with his thoughts, it doesn't mean he is ignoring you or mad. He just needs alone time to forget about all that he is responsible for in the world.

A real man has emotions. He isn't afraid to acknowledge that they are present in his body, even if he doesn't outwardly show on the surface.  A real man gets angry, but he forgives and lets you know everything is ok and that he's forgiven you.  A real man tells you what is on his mind. He doesn't play games with a woman.  He will tell you if he is angry (or some other emotion) at you. [Think Noah in The Notebook: "I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass."]

I think most males are capable of reaching this "man" definition.  However, I think for many of them it is just easier to stay in the "guy" zone where they can be assholes, treat many people badly, not be responsible, not understand their emotions or thoughts, and isn't willing to change yet. 

Ideal Man

When you're single you are told two pieces of advice:
1. Figure out what you really want in a man and don't settle for less.
2. No one is going to fit your ideal mold.

Uhhh, so what is a single gal really supposed to do? Those two doctrines contradict themselves. This isn't religion here. So what is the easy answer here about how I am supposed to go about single life?

Regardless, I know what I want in my ideal man...who probably does not exist. Here he is:

• I'm thinking brown hair and brown eyes. That's typically what I am attracted to.
• Tall. I like guys that are about 6 feet despite the fact that I only reach 5'1".
• He has to make me laugh...a lot. He has to laugh at my jokes and sarcastic comments, too.
• He has to be interesting. Have ideas. Have goals. Have opinions.
• He must listen to country music. I've come to realize that vastly different musical tastes can make car rides unenjoyable when you just have anything interesting to really talk about. Doesn't have to only be interested in country, just have it be one of the listened to genres.
• He works out. Not a juice head or anything, but a guy who enjoys being active and tries to lead a healthy lifestyle. He must be able to do more push ups than me in 60 seconds as well. 
• He won't make me watch scary movies. He won't try to scare me. I don't like creepy, scary TV shows or movies. If he can respect that, we will get along.
• He has that rugged, country, military, all-American look and attitude; that certain je ne sais quoi about him that is hard to put into words or describe fully. But when you see it, you know he's got it.
• He likes to travel and see new places, have new experiences. I'm all for hanging out and watching a movie on a Saturday night at home, but he has to want to see and learn new things in his life. I'm talking continental US & Europe here.
• He has to understand himself. He has to be comfortable with who he is. He has to be proud of himself and his accomplishments.  If he doesn't like something about himself, then he has to be cognizant about that and work towards changing it.
• He has to be my cheerleader too. I'm all for cheering someone on, but it needs to be reciprocated.
• He has to know what is going on in the world. I'm not asking for a politico or a stringent  advocate of something, just have a good idea of what social, economic, political, and military events are happening in the world and be able to talk about what he thinks about them. 
• He has to be close to his family. If there are issues there I want him to acknowledge them, not hide from them. He has to be his own man though and not depend on his family's ideals as a crutch.
• Have a good job. I don't have credentials of what a "good job" really means, but he has to be responsible. 
• Does he have to like football?? Good question. I'm not sure yet.  Does he have to have been in a fraternity in college? Another good question. Hmmm. Be a beer drinker? Yes.

• Look like this? YES!                             

Song Lover

I love music.  It instantly can change my mood.  Some lyrics speak to my soul. 

However, many times, it isn't the sentimental, loving, or life-meaningful songs that awake me and put me in a better mind set.  Rather they are the "party songs" that really get me going and tend to change my mood.  This is especially true when I blast them in my car. Windows should be down doing this operation as well for optimal mood enhancement. 

Some amazing lyrics/songs:

"Oh, hell yeah. My head hurts. I got whiskey and lip gloss on my new shirt. All I know is, we went out and done it up right. I rode a bull, did a keg stand, shotgunned a beer can, Jumped in and broke up a fight. Now, it's Saturday mornin,' I'm hungover, but damn what Friday night." - I'm Hungover, Luke Bryan

"My fall back plan, has done got sad, 'cause my ex-girlfriend ain't looking half bad! Yea, it's time to take my drunk ass home."- Time to Take my Drunk Ass Home, Luke Bryan

"You’re talking to a stranger, I’m not that girl anymore. That girl is long gone; Boy you missed the boat it just sailed away. Long gone. She’s not drowning in her yesterdays. Betcha never thought I’d be that strong.Well this girl is long gone."- Long Gone, Lady Antebellum

"She said this ain't where my road ends. This may not be my town, it'll do for now, til I can figure out, who I am, where I'm going. She's slinging eggs and bacon, with a college education. Just hanging out and waiting, for a better plan, she's ok not knowing, she's young, and the world's wide open."- Wide Open, Jason Aldean

"I use what I got. Take what I get. Give Until I ain't got nothin' left. Then I give it some more. Keep on climbing up that mountain. Keep truckin' along, work up a sweat. Pass every no, after no, after no, till I get a yes. I don't worry about what I'm not. I use what I got." -Use What I Got, Jason Aldean

"She wants her nails painted black. She wants the toy in the crackerjack. She wants to ride the bull at the rodeo." -Feel that Fire, Dierks Bentley

"These old boots still got a lot of ground they ain’t covered yet. There’s at least another million miles  under these old bus treads. So if you think I’m gonna settle down, I‘ve got news for you. I still got a lot of leavin’ left to do."- Lot of Leaving Left, Dierks Bentley

"And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first, Fearless. And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless."- Fearless, Taylor Swift

Note: They all have some pretty fantastic beats. When you're feeling bummed, turn one on.  You won't be sorry!

Bryanites

I find solace, inspiration, and my true emotions in music. The lyrics, the beat, the tempo, the instruments, the voice.  Certain songs pull on my heartstrings the way nothing else can. (Hence the "troubadours" part of the blog.) 

Less than a week ago I drove down to Georgia for a concert.  Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal, going to a concert. However, this concert, I HAD to go. I was attempting to find peace and happiness, while attempting not to feel heartache and sadness. I stumbled upon the answer, or what I thought was the answer, after class.  I was online and happened to go on the Luke Bryan website. There it was! My ticket to happiness-- 4 concerts in Georgia around the very same time I planned to visit my cousin in Atlanta.  DONE DEAL. I bought the ticket for the Thursday night concert in Carrollton, a town I had never been to before in my life, packed up my car, and made the estimated trip of 15hours 22minutes in 14hours.

Luke Bryan entered the stage around 9:30pm.  It was amazing. He came out fire blazing. The entire night was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  I felt alive again. I felt invigorated.  I felt like ME.  I felt whole.

Since the concert I have become more thoroughly obsessed with this country star. I haven't felt this way since I was in 5th grade, my room plastered with Backstreet Boys posters and fan club merchandise.  I was gushing and blushing as I retold Thursday nights events to Carina.  She laughed and said I was smitten. It was true! I was absolutely smitten with this image of Luke Bryan- his words, his smile, his boots, his jeans, his voice.  I guess its probably a more safer rebound relationship!

I think what I'm so smitten with is his way wording everything and the way it spoke to me in my desperate hour. I've seen him in concert before, which was amazing as well, but not in the way in which  it was this past Thursday. His last concert, the one I drove 14hours to see, was akin to a religious experience for me.  I felt passion, life, and contentment flowing through my veins. I felt safe, as though I could find protection from his lyrics of wisdom.

Yes, I realize how goofy all this sounds, and I promise I am a sane woman.  However, to take my smitten-ness further Carina and I have decided to become religious followers of Luke Bryan, calling ourselves Bryanites. We plan to make a statue in his likeness, take a pilgrimage to see him and hear his word, and celebrate him and his mantras with feast days. To add to the silliness I have organized some Bryanite mantras, in case you readers are interested in following the new found religious order.

1. Rain makes corn. Corn makes whiskey.

2. Wish this high noon Georgia sun could melt what's been done, make it disappear.

3. There's only one thing you can do. Don't worry about nothing. Let it go see what tomorrow brings. Don't worry about nothing. Pray about everything.

4. You're like a early morning Monday, bringing me down, messing with my mood.

5. Some folks aren't happy the way they are. Some just wanna take things just a little too far. I am just what I am. I'm just what you see. So I'll make it easy, I'll stay me.

6. You need hands, rough not soft, to come and warm you up in that cold hayloft. Let me hold you little darling, in my big strong arms, can't get these kind of muscles anywhere but a farm.

7. Love is blind. Fate don't care.

8. All I know is we went out and done it up right.

9.  Well I worked all week, so I could come here, and have a nice cold beer. But 1 turned to 10 and 10 turned to 20, and 20 plus an empty bottle is too damn many.

10. I ain't got a clue what went down, so I started calling around. And all my friends say...

My Last Name

I have often declared to my boyfriends and my friends that I love my last name.  That I do not want to change it when (...should I say and if?...) I get married.  Men tend to shrink away when I state this declaration of near independence. 

The  "What about when you have kids? You'll have a different last name from them!" argument:
Yes. Thank you for noticing. Parents who have been divorced and are remarried typically have a different last name than their children from a previous union do as well. Sometimes single mothers give their children the father's last name.  In today's society, this is not something that is too much of a problem. In fact some colleagues actually have students write their parent's home/work phone number down with what they should be addressed as. 


The "You should take the husband's last name, that's what everyone else does. It's tradition" argument:
Ahh the tradition argument. Yes, you're right, it is tradition.  It is a custom we [those of us who are of European decent] have adopted since taking on last names in the Middle Ages. I get that; the men were the breadwinners of the day, they ruled the house, they were the only ones who had a true legal identity, so yes, it makes sense that women would take on their husband's last name upon marriage. Perhaps it is even romantic to think about your identity being merged with your love's.

But we no longer take on the other part of the original custom; women have a legal identity in today's society here in the U.S. Remember, that little thing called the 19th Amendment? It gave women the right to vote and made us separate citizens in legal terms from our fathers (after 18) and our husbands.  (Why do you think divorce is so messy these days? If we weren't legal citizens we wouldn't be able to sue for divorce -unless on the grounds of adultery- and we'd have no assets to fight to regain. It would all be our husband's since the moment our hand passed from our father's to his.)

Now I understand it is partially a sentimental tradition. But so is having a big, fancy, 19th century inspired wedding gown & a groom in a tux.  Think Queen Victoria's wedding.  Doesn't mean it is necessary.  Customs change. In colonial times, women wore yellow wedding dresses to symbolize constancy.  And there is nothing in the Bible that mandates wedding dresses, last names, etc.

My Last Name argument:
My last name is important to me. It sounds right with my first name. 

I am in the reserves.  I went to basic training. One of the most exciting moments of those 8 weeks was finally getting my name tape sewn onto my ABU jacket.  I felt as though I had earned the right to my last name.  Now, I haven't gone on a deployment yet, but I know that when I do, I will come home with even more pride in the name I wear across my chest.
My grandfather was in the Army in WWII.  He and I share the same last name.  Now that I too am in the military I feel a connection to him that I was unable to make when he was alive. 

I use my last name in my professional career outside of the military as well.  My certifications are in my last name. I am called by my last name.  I claim authorship to my writing and research with my last name.

My last name is part of who I am. It is a symbol of who I am and I do not want to let go of it, simply because I decide to spend my life with a single person. I do not see myself as only my first name. I am that weird Latin/Italian/Germanic mix that is represented in my namesakes.  Just like I am a country girl and city lover co-mingling within the same being.


I do not fault or judge women who change their last name when they get married. I think that in the 21st century it is a personal choice driven out of the 1970s feminist movement; just like birth control.  I choose to keep mine.

I don't see why I can't be referred to as Mrs. Bryan in my personal life. Why can't I call up the pizza shop and tell them that the pick up order is under Mrs. Bryan instead of Ms. Gilmore? Why can't I let my son's friends call me Mrs. Bryan? It's only legally that I'm trying to preserve my name, not necessarily socially. 

Hopefully Mr. Right will understand. If not, maybe I can give up something else. Perhaps I'll offer him a den with big comfy couches, big screen TV, bar, and pool table where he can watch football games all season if I can legally keep my last name.

When we walk into the wedding reception, they can even say "Introducing Mr & Mrs Bryan." I promise I won't mind.

This Week

This week there has been a fundamental change in my emotions and outlook.  For weeks since the engagement and my relationship with Maj forever ended I walked around, feeling mangled and destroyed.  I knew I'd eventually be able to pull myself out of the depressed state, but during those weeks I didn't want to be pulled. I was trying to hang on to him and his memory because it was all I had left anymore. 

Yet this week I made powerful life decisions that brought me out of the darkness.  I was pulled to the surface this week.  And I did it all on my own. 

This week I had my physical fitness test.  I scored a 93%.  I completed 50 real push ups in 1 minute.  I felt strong and invincible. 

This week I realized I needed to be selfish, a trait I had diligently worked hard to push away since the start of my relationship with Maj.  I decided that self-sacrifice would not bring ultimate happiness to my future.  I needed to dig deep for what I really wanted in my life at the age of 23.  How did I want to see my future unfolding?  Moving south of the Mason Dixon line with Carina. Taking hold on my teaching career.  A deployment to Afghanistan. Researching and writing.  Visiting Bouton, Simpson, and Parrish in Europe. 

This week I returned the engagement ring and wedding bands.  Letting go of the past and my past dreams to make room for future dreams. 

This week I went to Barnes and Nobles. I bought books, like I normally do during a period of transformation in my life.  Books that would help guide me through the journey onward.  The Purpose Driven Life; Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert; Last One Down the Aisle Wins: 10 Keys to a Fabulous Single Life Now and an Even Better Marriage Later.

This week I went to school and volunteered at the Modified Football game.  Seeing students and being in a place where I feel needed has filled in the void of my desire to be needed by Maj. 

This week I realized that my life was not so different from what it had been.  Maj had been deployed, he was not around, so I had a separate life from him.  That meant I could continue with my life without feeling too much of a catastrophe. 

This week I decided to spend time in Georgia with my cousin.  I decided to take time for what was important to me.  A Luke Bryan concert. Oktoberfest.  Driving 15hours to Atlanta. 

This week I went back to Allegheny.  Back to the place where I was rejuvenated after my first real breakup; where I became part of something that had nothing to do with him and my past. Delta Delta Delta.

I feel strong. I feel powerful. I feel happy and content.  I feel like I am doing what is best for me, my health, and my happiness. 

Yes, it is true; I still have moments where I am sad.  However, I take those moments, seal them in an envelope, and send them up to the sky.  There they will stay, until the day I can fully face the feelings and memories with nostalgia, rather than sadness.