Thursday, December 23, 2010

Define "Man"

"Country Man" by Luke Bryan is one of my favorite country songs. Rather than give you the lyrics, I'm just going to talk about what a "man" is. Because I think I have finally realized a definition of "man" [in contrast to "boy" or "guy"].

A man is someone who can take care of himself. Not only is he capable of taking care of himself in an independent manner, but he is more than willing to help out his friends when they are in need. He will move them across the country. He will get them out of a bad situation. He will calm them down when they are raging mad. He will give them the shirt off his back. 

A man is loyal. He will care for his lady. He will treat her like a precious stone, one that he feels he has been entrusted to care for.  He will protect her, but if she needs it, he will give her her independence.  He does not smother her.  He does stuff just to make her happy, like take out the trash without being nagged.

A man is responsible. He works. He gets paid. He provides.  He does it the best he can. He tries very hard. He doesn't bail. Ever.

A man is the one who deserves a beer sometimes after a long day or project.  A man is someone who sometimes needs to be alone to be with his thoughts, it doesn't mean he is ignoring you or mad. He just needs alone time to forget about all that he is responsible for in the world.

A real man has emotions. He isn't afraid to acknowledge that they are present in his body, even if he doesn't outwardly show on the surface.  A real man gets angry, but he forgives and lets you know everything is ok and that he's forgiven you.  A real man tells you what is on his mind. He doesn't play games with a woman.  He will tell you if he is angry (or some other emotion) at you. [Think Noah in The Notebook: "I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass."]

I think most males are capable of reaching this "man" definition.  However, I think for many of them it is just easier to stay in the "guy" zone where they can be assholes, treat many people badly, not be responsible, not understand their emotions or thoughts, and isn't willing to change yet. 

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