Online Dating

I succumbed to online dating. I'll admit it. There were very few men in the gene pool of Western New York that I was meeting when I went out, so I was encouraged by my best friend to try online dating. So I did. I signed up on okcupid.com because I refused to pay for something before I tried it out; before I knew whether or not I was really interested in trying it out. 

Turns out it wasn't an awful experience, but it wasn't a good one either.  I think it has to do with me being old fashioned in dating still, not feeling completely hopeless [yet], and the fact that I wasn't seeing anyone I'd be interested in for more than a few hours. 

The Good
Turns out, you aren't the only one in the world who is lonely, looking for love, not seeming to find it even though all your friends have.  Apparently there are a whole bunch of us squirming around the city!  And sometimes its a comforting thing to see that. Tangible evidence is always a plus.

Not every guy on there was a creeper. I did in fact meet a pretty decent guy. He wasn't right for me, but he was not psycho, nor did he have two heads. He was normal, laid back, liked football and beer, and had a job at Gieco. Pretty standard normal stuff, which is nice.

It's easier to reject someone online than it is at the bar. At least for me. If a guy has the courage to come up to me while I'm out feel a sense of obligation to give him my number [unless of course he is rude or perverted].  I mean, it takes a lot of gumption to come over and talk to a complete stranger. I don't do it often. Online, if I'm not interested and I don't show interest, I don't feel so bad. [Yes, I'm a little bit of a horrible person, I realize that.]

The Bad
From my experience some guys just want to use the dating site as a way to date you. I can be considered high maintenance; I like being taken out on dates. I like meeting people in person. I viewed Okcupid as a mutual friend or the virtual bar. You learn some quick facts about this person and weigh whether or not you want to go on a date- even just coffee! You don't stay at the bar for days on end trying to get to know the person inside and out before you decide whether or not you want to see this person [in the flesh]. I understand not wanting to take out every woman you talk to, but that's why you should know what you are looking for. Ask those questions; seek those answers out first. If those responses are acceptable to you, go get in line at Starbucks and have a real conversation!

The Ugly
Similar to The Bad is guys asking you why you don't list every detail or every thought about yourself online. Uhhh, because I prefer actual conversation. Because I like meeting people and spending time with them to see if there is chemistry. A profile can sound great. You can be Mr. Wonderful...but if I don't like your voice, or your teeth, or the way you smell [you get the idea] then it ain't gonna happen. I don't care how many of my Mr. Right boxes are checked off based on what you wrote on your profile.  [Sometimes those antiquated ideas of chemistry and hygiene aren't just something George and Martha Washington were able to use to their advantage. Even in 2010, I think they are applicable and necessary to the start of any courtship.]

Then there were the even uglier comments that were made to me when I first started talking to some guys. The fitness comment that was written in the "All righty Cupid" entry about fitting his member in my mouth. Yeah, that was made to me.  Not exactly happy about that ever being muttered to me...via text message.

So maybe others have luck finding love on the Internet. My cousin met her husband at an online dating site. I don't knock it. I tried it. It just isn't for me. At least not at this juncture in my life.  I do, however think it would be a good way to meet people if you relocate to a place where you don't know anyone...and are tired of going to the movies alone.

I have, however, since deleted my profile.