Long Distance Relationship Girl

I've come to realize that I am the girl who gets herself into one long distance relationship after the other.  I don't understand how I got here. I mean, I understand when it started (age 15, Jeremy in Georgia), but I don't know how I got to the point in my life where I seem to always have a boyfriend out of state. It's like that is what I am most comfortable with or something. And how did I get to the point, where I want a long distance relationship? Where the heck did that come from?!?!

I had a local relationship once. It was back in high school. Kevin and I lived a total of 8 minutes from one another.  Then we both went to different colleges and I went to visit him nearly every weekend.  I was living two lives. My school life; my boyfriend/social life.  This is where it all started.

I transferred schools, to be at the same one as his. We only truly dated a total of 2 weeks while attending the same college. Next came Scott. He lived back at home, I lived down in Pennsylvania while going to school. He came to visit me. School during the week; boyfriend/social time on the weekend.  Then came Brandon. We got together a few weeks before the semester ended.  Work during the week; boyfriend/social time on the weekend as we both traveled to and from Pittsburgh. 

When Brandon and I started our senior year together, I hated dating him much of the time. He wanted to be together all the time. He always wanted to know what I was doing. He was jealous that I spent much of my time doing sorority stuff.  We did our homework together. I barely ever went out with friends, and when I did he would get angry with me if I got drank with them.  I never wanted to go out to the bar with him or go to parties with him. He always wanted us to sleep in the same bed together. I couldn't stand being around him...yet the relationship dragged on throughout the fall semester.

Then came Zach. I knew him from high school and he had recently come back from a 15 month tour in Iraq when we started dating. He was stationed down in North Carolina.  Zach and I were together about 6 weeks before I too, moved south.  3 weeks later, we had broken up, after I had moved down there, and attempting to have a local relationship.

Immediately after that I started to date Cerda. He too wanted to be around me all the time. He had a key to my apartment. We spent much of our free time together and he would text me constantly throughout the day. I acquiesced. I thought this was how local relationships worked. But I grew tired of it. I grew sick of him. I wanted to date other guys. 

A little later came Maj. He left for a 12 month tour in Iraq right as we began dating. The longest, long distance relationship I have ever been in.  There was line drawn in that relationship too. I have my life, he had his. We were together when he was stateside. And when we were together it was like a vacation. It was spent in hotel rooms and restaurants, living out of a suitcase. We had discussed me moving down to North Carolina once he returned from Iraq. I was nervous that he would get sick of me and break up with me; or that we would end up fighting constantly. 

In sum: I have not had a local relationship that I have enjoyed since high school. And I do not remember how I split time between my life, my goals, my social time, and my boyfriend. I don't know that I really did then.  So much was intertwined together because we went to the same high school and had the same group of friends.  I don't remember how often we talked on the phone, or text. I don't remember how much time we spent together on the weekend. 

I don't want to be this girl anymore, though. Being the Long Distance Relationship Girl is probably not going to get me Mr. Right...because Mr. Right will probably want to share the same address with me.  Yet, I don't know how to bridge the gap. I don't know how to date locally. I don't know how I am supposed to keep separate, yet still co-mingle my social life with my career.  I don't know how often I am supposed to talk to a local boyfriend.  I haven't operated locally, and happily, since 2005.