Work It

"I think you just try to make it work too much," were words uttered by my best guy friend, Walker. He was observing my latest relationship, all the effort I had put into making it work, leaving me frustrated and disappointed when it didn't.  I thought relationships were supposed to be work. They weren't supposed to be something that just worked it self out; not with our different lives that we tried syncing.  I mean you have to do some work to sync your iPod, why would a relationship be any different?

According to Walker, nope. Relationships are just supposed to play out naturally.

But...

The old saying goes, "marriage is tough work." Hello, it's another job, another duty, another commitment you have to juggle with the kids, house, bills, work, etc.  So I wonder why a relationship, the thing before a big shinny ring & vows would be any different.  All right, maybe there are less variables to consider, but if marriage is going to be work, wouldn't or shouldn't a relationship, marriage's precursor, also be considered work?

Now I'm not talking all-work-and-no-fun type of work. I'm just talking here, planning and communicating about wants and needs.  Arguments over important issues. Staying with that person even when it would be easier to just get out and be alone. I guess what I mean when I say work, is that commitment to the other person, and making that happen in your life.

Maybe I do try too hard to make a relationship work with someone I actually like. It might be because there are, in reality, very few men who interest me to the degree that I would want something serious with them. There are very few guys who I can look at and think, yeah I might be able to handle waking up to this face every morning for the rest of my life. There are few men who I can stand in large doses. And when I do find that one who I enjoy spending every minute with and every minute thinking of, I desperately want to make it work with him. 

Perhaps I need to put down my palm pilot [figuratively] and let fate, life, karma, and/or God just put all the pieces together.  While it is only [type A] human to want to exert control over your life, it might be impossible when another person's schedule and feelings are involved.

So, maybe there is no reason to try to make it work in such a diligent manner...???