Sunday, February 20, 2011

Right Where I am Meant to Be

And when you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see that you never were the best for me ~Daughtry


I have now become a true believer in "everything happens for a reason."  Why you ask? Because finally, when the front door was slammed shut in my face, I ended up right where I know I am meant to be. 

If I had gotten married this past October, I would not be student teaching now. I wouldn't have this calm happiness that spills out of my pores. 

Am I stressed? A little. Am I busy? Most certainly. But do I feel nervous, do I feel out of place, or do I feel uneasy? Negative. Not one bit.

I feel like I am doing exactly what I was put here in this world to do.  I am so happy. I am confident (most moments of the day, anyway).  And I wouldn't be in this place if that door wasn't slammed in my face.  Other doors have opened up for me, the doors that are directing me to where I am supposed to be and to the woman I am meant to be. 

Even though it is what I wanted, it's not what was best for me. I am definitely seeing that now, thankfully.

I Got Over You

Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left, just left me cold and out of breath
I felt if I was in way to deep, guess I let you get the best of me

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you
~Daughtry


If you have been reading along for the last few months you know that I went through a terrible, messy, and emotional breakup with Maj this September.  I was a mess, I'm not going to lie. I felt like I never was going to be able to feel happy or whole again. I felt like everything I had dreamt of, longed for, would always be out of reach.

However, I was able to heal. I feel whole again. I actually think I feel more whole now that I ever did when Maj and I were together. I am not sad. I don't miss him. I don't worry about what's happening in the world constantly. I feel like I can do whatever I want. I can make myself happy, without consulting a soul. 

Part of my healing process was certainly the many road trips I took this fall. Partly it was the concerts I went to and sung my heart out at.  Part of it was putting my heart into school and learning all I could about how to create effective learning experiences for students.  I wanted nothing more than to feel needed by a student.  Part of it was spending countless hours with my best friends, laughing, crying, griping about men, and sharing my experiences with them.  Part of it was trying to date again so that I didn't end up hating men. 

But there was one night, one night I thought I would never get through. One night where I could not shake the lonely feeling that brewed inside of me, despite being surrounded by people all night long.

And that is when I called LT.  It was 2am and I have no idea what possessed me to choose him out of all the guy friends I have, but I did. After talking to him on the phone until about 7am, I finally felt happy. The night I thought I'd never get through, I did with LT's help. However, LT has no idea that the night I called him was the night I thought I'd never get through. He could tell I was upset about something and when I told him I didn't want to talk about it, he was all right with it. He didn't pressure me to open up about it.

Then next morning, I felt so much better. I don't know what kind of salve LT put on my wounded heart, but it felt so much better. In the following few days I came to the revelation that it was over. That I was over Maj.  I didn't talk about him, I didn't think about him, I didn't care about him. I had had my experience with him, wished perhaps I had used a little better judgment when it came to our whole relationship, but it was over and I was over the saddness and the emotional baggage. 

Meeting Luke Bryan

Well, it happened. I have met a celebrity.  I was lucky enough at the end of January to win not only tickets to the Chris Morgan, Luke Bryan, & Rascal Flatts concert, but I also won tickets to a meet & greet opportunity with none other than LUKE BRYAN!!

I was so excited and shocked that words can not properly describe it.  So my best friend Alisha & I drove 6 hours to Dayton, Ohio for the show & meet and greet!!!!


I was estatic, as we were the first girls in line to meet Mr. Bryan! :) He spoke to me in his sweet Southern drawl and I melted on the spot as I told him I had driven from Buffalo to see him that evening (however, I left out the fact that I had driven 14 hours to Carrollton, GA to see him in September & 16 hours to Duluth, GA to see him in November--minor details!!)


So feel free to feel what I want you to feel- jealous of my awesome oppotunity! But the reason I am bragging/sharing my experience is the fact that I can cross off another thing off my Before I'm 30 List. Who knew I'd have the amazing chance to do it so soon after it's creation?! And who knew I'd win this chance off his website?!?!


And if you haven't looked Luke Bryan up yet and listened to some of his stuff, especially his EP special song, you really need to get on it!!! http://www.lukebryan.com/