Right Where I am Meant to Be

And when you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see that you never were the best for me ~Daughtry

I have now become a true believer in "everything happens for a reason."  Why you ask? Because finally, when the front door was slammed shut in my face, I ended up right where I know I am meant to be. 

If I had gotten married this past October, I would not be student teaching now. I wouldn't have this calm happiness that spills out of my pores. 

Am I stressed? A little. Am I busy? Most certainly. But do I feel nervous, do I feel out of place, or do I feel uneasy? Negative. Not one bit.

I feel like I am doing exactly what I was put here in this world to do.  I am so happy. I am confident (most moments of the day, anyway).  And I wouldn't be in this place if that door wasn't slammed in my face.  Other doors have opened up for me, the doors that are directing me to where I am supposed to be and to the woman I am meant to be. 

Even though it is what I wanted, it's not what was best for me. I am definitely seeing that now, thankfully.

I Got Over You

Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left, just left me cold and out of breath
I felt if I was in way to deep, guess I let you get the best of me
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you ~Daughtry

If you have been reading along for the last few months you know that I went through a terrible, messy, and emotional breakup with Maj this September.  I was a mess, I'm not going to lie. I felt like I never was going to be able to feel happy or whole again. I felt like everything I had dreamt of, longed for, would always be out of reach.

However, I was able to heal. I feel whole again. I actually think I feel more whole now that I ever did when Maj and I were together. I am not sad. I don't miss him. I don't worry about what's happening in the world constantly. I feel like I can do whatever I want. I can make myself happy, without consulting a soul. 

Part of my healing process was certainly the many road trips I took this fall. Partly it was the concerts I went to and sung my heart out at.  Part of it was putting my heart into school and learning all I could about how to create effective learning experiences for students.  I wanted nothing more than to feel needed by a student.  Part of it was spending countless hours with my best friends, laughing, crying, griping about men, and sharing my experiences with them.  Part of it was trying to date again so that I didn't end up hating men. 

But there was one night, one night I thought I would never get through. One night where I could not shake the lonely feeling that brewed inside of me, despite being surrounded by people all night long.

And that is when I called LT.  It was 2am and I have no idea what possessed me to choose him out of all the guy friends I have, but I did. After talking to him on the phone until about 7am, I finally felt happy. The night I thought I'd never get through, I did with LT's help. However, LT has no idea that the night I called him was the night I thought I'd never get through. He could tell I was upset about something and when I told him I didn't want to talk about it, he was all right with it. He didn't pressure me to open up about it.

Then next morning, I felt so much better. I don't know what kind of salve LT put on my wounded heart, but it felt so much better. In the following few days I came to the revelation that it was over. That I was over Maj.  I didn't talk about him, I didn't think about him, I didn't care about him. I had had my experience with him, wished perhaps I had used a little better judgment when it came to our whole relationship, but it was over and I was over the saddness and the emotional baggage. 

Meeting Luke Bryan

Well, it happened. I have met a celebrity.  I was lucky enough at the end of January to win not only tickets to the Chris Morgan, Luke Bryan, & Rascal Flatts concert, but I also won tickets to a meet & greet opportunity with none other than LUKE BRYAN!!

I was so excited and shocked that words can not properly describe it.  So my best friend Alisha & I drove 6 hours to Dayton, Ohio for the show & meet and greet!!!!


I was estatic, as we were the first girls in line to meet Mr. Bryan! :) He spoke to me in his sweet Southern drawl and I melted on the spot as I told him I had driven from Buffalo to see him that evening (however, I left out the fact that I had driven 14 hours to Carrollton, GA to see him in September & 16 hours to Duluth, GA to see him in November--minor details!!)


So feel free to feel what I want you to feel- jealous of my awesome oppotunity! But the reason I am bragging/sharing my experience is the fact that I can cross off another thing off my Before I'm 30 List. Who knew I'd have the amazing chance to do it so soon after it's creation?! And who knew I'd win this chance off his website?!?!


And if you haven't looked Luke Bryan up yet and listened to some of his stuff, especially his EP special song, you really need to get on it!!! http://www.lukebryan.com/

A Recruitment Story

It's that time of year again on the Allegheny College campus-- RECRUITMENT!!! A week of events, major planning throughout much of winter break, skits, singing, cheering, matching outfits, talking & getting to know new women. 

Stress levels can run high. You want the right women for your sorority.  Women that will believe and be true to the values and the ideas set forth by the sorority way back in the late 1800s.

For me, when I was in college, I loved the planning behind recruitment.  For one whole week it was sorority-sorority-sorority over everything else in my life. And I loved it. I loved the late nights of staying in the suite to set up for the next round of parties. The chats with women I will never forget as we created table covers for Philanthropy Round, chair covers for Preference Round.

I liked brushing our feathers and showing to young women what we had to offer them, what we stood for, and who we were as individuals. It is a magical thing when you see all the stress, blood, sweat, and tears you put into creating the perfect night for these prospective women. It all pays off when the women walk in and their eyes light up and they no longer look afraid. When they feel comfortable and you can tell they can imagine themselves being part of this organization full time. 

The best part? Handing them a pearl, telling them the story of the girl who was lost in the woods, who dropped her pearl into a pool of water and watched the ripples spread away from the center. As the women leave, hushed singing in the background, they are told to make a wish on the pearl and drop it in our "pool" of water.  This is one of the only times I wished I was a fairy godmother and could make every single one of those women's wishes come true. It was in that moment I didn't care which sorority those women wanted to call home. All I wished for was the ability to get them to where they knew they could call home. 

The Bachelor

Ahhh The Bachelor. My guilty pleasure of every week. Yes, it is drama filled. Yes, those are not dates you would ever take in real life. Yes, it is very hyped up. Yes, Chris Harrison gets annoying when he announces that "this is the last rose this evening."

But, I love this show.

Why? Because when I watch this show, I feel less desperate about my own love life. I have yet to apply to abc.com to be the next Bachelorette. [However, if I do reach a desperation point in my life, I will totally, without shame, nominate myself to be on that show!] I do not throw myself at men the way some of the women do on that show. I do not cry over him kissing another girl if we aren't exclusive. I don't pick cat fights. 

However, I sympathize with these women. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, which makes it all the more capable of being broken or hurt. I can't help it, I've tried to change that about myself, but it is who I am, so there. But I see that part of me in many of these women who genuinely appear to be on the show for a chance to win a man's heart.

Most people, want to find love. They want to feel connected to another person.  While the show is certainly dramatized and romance is hyped to the max, there is something real about the emotions that run rampant on the show, that make it [at least to me] interesting to watch and be a part of. 

Oh, and it certainly doesn't hurt that all the Bachelors that have been on the show have had smokin' bodies. A little eye candy on a Monday night never hurt nobody!

Baby, What's Your Sign?

Well yesterday I was a Capricorn. Today, I am a Sagittarius. I know two Sag's...my mom & brother. Nope, sorry, we're aren't anything alike.  I am a true Capricorn all the way.


 Now, when I was a teenager I was very into astrology. I mean, I didn't have rain dances or anything like that in my backyard, but when I found out about the traits that made up my sign, I felt like I understood myself for the first time.  It has really only been recently that I have come back to try to understand myself.

While I still identify with my Capricorn-ish traits, I know that I have developed into a different woman.  Yes, I am still ambitious and disciplined, however sometimes my practicality and prudence are thrown out the window. I realized in college that I only get to live once and I want to live it up whatever way I can! 

Patient- ha, not even close. I have never been patient. I have become more patient as I have gotten older, but even now...I am far from describing myself as a patient person. That would just be lying. Careful...hmmm, again, I've started to embrace life. You'd think as I get older I would get more cautious...I think just the opposite is happening with me though. Humorous- I certainly try to be. I love humor. I love to laugh. 

Reserved, yes I still am. I've come to the point where I am more outgoing and less shy when I first meet people, however, sometimes, if I am out with a big group and I only know one or two people, I can certainly be classified as reserved. Or if I am out with a couple friends and one has a very big, boisterous, and outgoing personality, I tend to shy away and consume myself within my own thoughts.  I fade into the background. I am still quite pessimistic. I always assume the worst is going to happen. But I have tried to change that outlook in somethings. I'm starting to believe that I have simply worked so hard these last few years on creating my "future" life that its just gotta happen!

And it's true I love history, antiques, duties and responsibilities, unconditional love, & new books. I hate, just like my sign says untidiness and disorder, surprises, loneliness, and being made to feel useless and incompetent.

Well whatever my sign is...this is who I am. And really, that's all that matters.

Love The One You're With

I have just finished book number 1 of L.G's 24 year goals of reading at least 5 chick-lit books.  This is the 3rd book I've read by Emily Giffin, Love The One You're With.

I do like these books. They are easy to read, interesting stories about women at crossroads in their personal and professional life.  The ending always seems to turn out just right for these ladies after having inner conflict and confusion. 

What I don't like about Giffin or her books, is their comparison to Jane Austen and Pride & Prejudice.  Jane Austen's works are classics. Despite the language they are timeless. They are real character development. Austen see through to her characters souls, and as a reader, so do you.  

While Giffin is a good writer, I only see into the main characters' soul...if I'm lucky. If you're looking for chick-lit that is like a chick-flick, read Giffin. You won't be disappointed. Just don't read her if you are looking for Jane Austen.