I am guilty of being jealous. Honestly, I am typically jealous of something or someone at least once every single day. Sometimes it is another girl, sometimes it's someone's past, sometimes it's someone's new opportunity that I love love to have. As much as I try to not be jealous, to think about the good things in my own life, I struggle.
However, today, as I was rearranging things in my room at my parents' house I stumbled upon perhaps the truth and core of my jealousy. I'm jealous of how another person's life LOOKS...but do I realize how my own looks?
It's tough to look at your own life objectively; to stare at it through another person's eyes because you are so personally connected to the innermost workings in your own life.
Just because I don't have what someone else has, is that bad? Does it mean my own life is not worthy or celebration, joy, or praise?
As I stand on the cusp of my quarter-life crisis, I wonder...do I really need those things that I am jealous of? Do I need those things to be happy? Other women might, but do I?
Would an engagement make me happy? Would buying a house make me happy? Would having my dream job make me happy? Would having that new Jeep Wrangler delight me [probably]?
I am certain that at some point in my life those things will come into my life to make me happy. They will arrive just when they need to. But for right now, I don't need them.
What do I need? I need excitement, craziness, new experiences that differ from my friends/family, adventure, a stirring of new emotions, and a chance to do something I NEVER dreamed of doing up until a few months ago. That's what I need right now to make me happy...and guess what?
I have those things.
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