My favorite TV show (read: not simply a guilty pleasure, because I do not hide this fact from anyone in my life) is Gilmore Girls. The relationship between Lorelai and Rory is exactly what I wish to have with my daughter. Not to mention, the witty dialogue comes in handy for fantastic one liners!
I have a close relationship with my mother. It ebbs and flows to the degree of closeness depending on what I am doing in my life. I've noticed that when I am not particularly sure of what I am doing in my life, that is when our relationship is strained. However, when I do open up to my mom, I find out that she had a similar experience, and that her advice probably would have been better when I actually found myself in the difficult situation.
However, in thinking about the relationship I hope to build with my daughter, I have come the conclusion that I should give her a book when she reaches her teenage years. It will be a book of motherly wisdom- learned first hand of course.
Now, I'm not talking about something that is filled with inspiration quotes or one of those books you can pick up at Things Remembered and just fill in during the afternoon. What I envision will be a guide book of my own youth, so that she:
1.) Doesn't think she just invented that idea
2.) Knows that even I have made mistakes
3.) Knows that I have had my share of mean girls, heartbreaks, and disasters
4.) Understands that life isn't perfect (even if there are people that she knows that make it appear that their life is without fault or deep loss)
5.) Can get through it all & come out alive
6.) Has a new found respect and perspective on her mother- after all I'm human, not a superhero
See my theory is, if I give her snap shots of the many things I had done in my youth, she will feel that she can come to me for advice during similar situations. She can ask me deeper questions about that time I " fill in the blank ." And when there is no parallel situation in our lives, she will still know she can be open and honest with me.
At times I wish my mom would have done that with me. I would not have felt embarrassed going to her, months after my first awful heartbreak, only to discover that she too pined for a ex-boyfriend for far too long as well. I wish I would have known that she did things I never would have imagined from my mom's soft, loving, and sweet nature. I always pictured my mother perfect and flawless in nearly every situation. However, the fact was she was, in some cases, just as messy as me.
I guess she is a human after all. A very strong human.
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