Soul Mates

Maybe our girlfriends are our SOUL MATES and guys are just people to have fun with. --Sex and the City ♥

My recent breakup has had me really thinking about my friends. Not just the women I talk with, but my true, deep friendships that I formed in college with some of the most amazing, strong, inspiring, and supportive women I have ever met. This recent string of heartbreaking events has given me a new appreciation of their love and warmth, as well as given me the push to ask for help from them when I really need it (even though we are all separated by hundreds of miles).

Alisha has been one of my very best friends since Preference Night when we were seeking a spot in the newest sorority on Allegheny's campus.  I have a multitude of photographs of her and I from Bid Day, already best friends, joined at the hip.  I instantly felt comfortable around her; she knew who she was and she wasn't afraid to show it. I accepted her for exactly who she was. I was awe-struck by her. I was still learning who I really was. I was trying to carve out a separate identity for myself that semester.  Alisha definitely helped me on my journey to do so.  We had each other's shoulder to cry on over our high school loves.  Those tears helped to seal our friendship forever.

Carina and I became very close friends during my senior year of college.  We had met in Tri Delta the previous semester and grew closer and closer with the time we spent together. I supported her events in the sorority; growing close in sisterly solidarity that both of us lacked in our biological life.  She became my sister through and through. Carina has always made me feel as though I was worth it; that I should be an advocate for myself. She has always helped to believe in me, even when I was blinded by the hurtful things that had been said to me.  She encouraged me to eat. She encouraged my creativity.  She was like sunshine on a rainy day.  In return, I have tried to help her remain in the loop as she works crazy hours in Manhattan.  I have tried to help her remain grounded and hopeful. 

Theresa and I grew closer and closer as my time at Allegheny drew to a close.  I had met her through Tri Delta and I knew that I desperately wanted to be her friend. She was so much fun. She laughed and was a joy to be around. It was always eventful with Theresa. But she was also serious. She worried. She cared about things working out.  I saw so many things of myself within Theresa; I think that is why I became best friends with her.  It was a similar reflection of myself, similar problems and issues, and I wanted to reassure her that everything would work out, even if that detailed plan wasn't drawn up yet.  Maybe I said that to her because I wanted to believe the same thing for my own ideas and plans.  Or maybe I told her that because it was the truth and I was still grappling with accepting it as such.  I always tried to show my undying support for her. To lead by example, that changing your mind frequently really wasn't detrimental to life. 

Kristen and I started out as going-out friends during the last semester of my senior year.  But how could you not love Kristen? She was down to earth, gentle, humble, gracious, and I thought perfect. She represented many of the qualities I wanted to have more of in my life.  Kristen is like a warm hug.  She comforts, uses endearments, and genuinely cares about her friends.  I always tried to have as big of a heart as her.  I have always tried to love her back completely.  I think she is such a brave and smart woman. She isn't (too) afraid to follow her heart and dreams.

Audra is my newest best friend. In fact, Audra and I were not friends in college. We became friends during Kristen and Theresa's senior year when I would visit them.  When I started to hang out with Audra and the rest of the girls I thought to myself, why were we not friends in college?!?! We would have had a ball!!!  It was through Audra that I saw what was really part of my deepest friendships:  No judgement.  We loved each other, but we did not judge one another's actions.  We were reflections of the truth, but harsh words of judgement about our actions or characters were never part of the friendship role we lived in. 

It was also through Audra that I realized that friendship did not know a distance.  It really didn't matter how long it had been since we last spoke or saw one another. We had each other's back. We shared in one another's hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We would be a constant in each other's lives. 

Why are they my soul mates? Because they have helped shape me. Helped peel back the layers to allow me to understand my true self better. The girl that I used to know back in middle school, who got swallowed up in high school, and who was trying to figure it all out in college.  And the woman, now, who is still learning more about herself every day. Impressing herself everyday with her fortitude, optimism, and spirit.  I can only hope that I am helping them do the very same thing. 

"You haven’t found the right man, but I'll love you forever! So you found the right friends at least."

This is why my best friends Alisha, Carina, Theresa, Kristen, and Audra are my soul mates.