"What Hurts the Most" is a song sung by Rascal Flatts that came out in 2005. I remember it semi-perfectly as it conjured up memories of one of my high school friends, Dale, who passed away a week before prom and a month before our high school graduation. Dale had a girlfriend at a time and I remember getting ready in my dorm room freshman year, TV on CMT, and the video coming on. If you've ever seen the video, you might understand how it would remind me of Dale and Amanda.
However, in my case, what hurts the most was not the fact that he walked away, when we had so much to say. Rather, what hurts the most is the fact that he stopped believing me and what I had to say.
It is awfully heartbreaking when anyone who is close to you stops believing you and trusting you. You wonder how to get your friend's trust back, and if you're lucky you succeed. Depending on the damage that has been done, your friendship can be repaired and restored like a 1964 GTO.
But then, there are those others who do not feel that they will ever believe you. Who say to you, "I will probably live the rest of my life thinking that you were lying to me."
What hurts the most is knowing that he doesn't even want me to try to repair the "damage." He doesn't care any longer and he appears content with believing that he will always think I was lying to him.
It's like trying to repair a damaged high school reputation when you are in grad school. Seems pretty impossible. And you wonder if it is even worth it to try to change their mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment