High Crawl

“If nothing else, one day you can look someone straight in the eyes and say, ‘But I lived through it. And it made me who I am today.’”- I Wrote This For You

Those 8 weeks at boot camp were some of the longest days of my life. They were some of the most challenging times, mentally and physically. I thought that I was prepared, but I know now, no amount of preparation could have prepared me ever. 

It's not that I was out of shape. I was in really good shape. It's not that I couldn't take being yelled at. I could, but I did hate it. It's not that I couldn't take being away from my family. I had been on my own in North Carolina before hand. It's not that I couldn't stand being in a bay of 59 other women. It definitely wasn't an ideal situation, but I have come out with some amazing women for friends.

Ok, so if I could handle all that stuff, what was so challenging?

Can you say Beast Week's Obstacle Course, high crawling up a hill? This is one of the things that sticks out in my mind. Many of the other times have blended together to just become a time in my life that I didn't really love, but this...this hill was a challenge. 

I was so scared. I literally started crying as I stood in line with Wirdges and Bouton. I had a helmet & ballistic vest on with an M16 in my hand and there I was as the rain was starting to come down (very picturesque). I was so afraid that I would not actually be able to high crawl up that damn hill, at a 45 degree angle, at least 200 feet, probably more I just can't fathom how many feet would really be in a hill that size. Wirdges told me it would be all right; that she'd be right there by my side. 

She was. She high crawled up that damn hill beside me and encouraged me as the sand got in my eyes, as my helmet fell over my face, as I became exhausted, as I got soaked from the rain, as I got sand in places where no one should get sand...

I have no idea how I really made it up that hill. I don't even know how long it all took. It felt like it was never going to happen, but there I was, getting over the hump in the hill and I was seeing 265/266 building temper tents together.

Since, I have come to the conclusion that the hill should be a metaphor for life and life's many challenges.  Sometimes I am scared to death about doing something.  But, with determination, encouragement, and strong will, I am able to get to struggle up the hill and eventually reach the easier place in the plateau. 

While I might have hated it; While  I might have feared it; I can say that I lived through that...and it has definitely helped to shape who I am.