Turner

Awhile back, I became friends with this Canadian guy, Turner.  It was after a breakup from a long distance relationship with a man who had meant more to me than my own life.  He took me out on the first date I had been on in months.  It was the simplest things that he did that made me like him; open a door, call me "dear," look at me intently when I was talking to him, buy my drinks and dinner, and make me laugh.

Turner could make me laugh as I never have before. I felt so simply happy with him.  I was content to do nothing with him, just sitting in his black Honda Civic after class, talking for an hour or so. But he also took me on some "Canadian adventures." We went hiking down these awesome trails on the Lower Niagara River.  We went to the locals-only bars that I had never seen before when I would frequent Canada before age 21.  We drove all around the city of Niagara Falls, Ontario and it was amazing to me because I lived right across the border from this city my entire life, but I didn't know any of this was there. 

I was daring with him.  I was completely flirtatious.  I would tease him mercilessly and he would just go with it, laughing at himself the entire time.  He said he liked it when I teased him.  He made silly faces, that were simply ridiculous. 

I don't know that I had ever felt like this before with a guy.  I felt exhilirated and comfortable all at the same time.  I opened up to him more than I had with my previous boyfriend.  With Turner, I was able to examine myself to my hearts content; something completely foreign to me.  I never had to adjust anything about myself around him.  Not one thing. 

The few weeks that I spent with Turner were unforgettable in the journey of self discovery.  I started to see things that I had never realized before about myself.  I never believed I was beautiful before. I never knew if I was interesting, or if men just listened to me in order to get laid.  We had fun everytime we were together. We went to the beach, we went hiking, we went to the lounge, we went out for dinner, we went to the bar, we hung out with friends, we just hung out at his house. Things I had been dreaming about doing with previous suitors who never seemed game to try or do all these things.  Turner and I were able to talk for hours about school, life, what we wanted to do; almost everything.  I was able to act tough around him, and he let me play that game, but he knew I wasn't. He would comfort me when I was upset.  He understood how I thought about nearly everything.  He thought I was amazing...and for once, he didn't change his mind about that.