Zero-Sum Game

When you are in a relationship, you are aware that it might end. You might grow apart, find someone else, simply fall out of love. But a friendship isn’t a zero-sum game, and as such, you assume that its will last forever, especially an old friendship. You take its permanence for granted, which might be the very thing so dear about it.”-- Something Borrowed

I've had my share of relationships that have ended. But the worst relationships that end are the ones who that I've had with girl friends. Like it says above, you never imagine it will end. They are your friends, you plan on always having one another's back, and being in one another's life.  You don't foresee ever "breaking up," especially when they have been part of so many memories and important times in your life.

But then there is a fight you get into. Words that shouldn't be said are.  Feelings are hurt. And forgiveness doesn't come easily from either side. 

I got into a fight with my two best friends two days before I graduated from college. I ended up not taking any photos after the ceremony. I just wanted to get out of that town.

What did we fight about? Good question, and after being out of college for 2 years I don't have a real answer to that anymore. I know the subject that surrounded the fight, but I don't remember what words or arguments were exchanged anymore.

I didn't talk to either of them until this past April, when Carina called truce. We admitted we had both been stupid and told each other there had been so many times when we wished we could have told the other some piece of news.  But we had been stupid and let this fight get in the way of our friendship.

Cait was harder to reach. She was much more stubborn than Carina and I.  I figured she'd go to her grave hating me from the taste of the fight that night. But it changed when we saw each other at Homecoming this year. We were both prepared, and knew that the other was going to be hanging out with our group of friends. But it was good. We actually were able to forgive one another and bond over new heart stresses. Neither one of us know if we will ever be as close as we once were. I'd like to be, but I know it will take time if that's to happen. 

Bottom line, friendships are just as fragile as a relationship. There is more malleability but they definitely can fall on the floor, crack or be completely broken. From the awful fight that was brought to Cait, Carina, and I, I have learned to take my friendships more seriously and treat them with as much love and kindness as I would a relationship.  In fact, they probably should receive a little more, because like it says you are aware it might end.