Signs

Do you believe in signs? Things that happen in your life that tell you what you need to do? Or what path you need to jump onto before its too late?

I had one such sign. It was September 1, 2010. I was walking down the street outside of the hospital to go visit my grandpa. As I was crossing the street I heard this little boy's voice yell from a car, "Ms. G." I turned and looked. I couldn't believe it, but it was Marquillis, one of the students I had during the summer literacy camp. I shouted and waved back at him, as he and his mother sat in their car before the light turned green. 

I had just come from the education office at my graduate school to tell them that I would not be starting classes in the fall semester.  I was getting married & Maj wanted me to move down to North Carolina to be with him. 

But as Marquillis drove away, I couldn't help but think that perhaps I had made a huge mistake.  If it had been any other student, it might not have registered that I could possibly be on the verge of messing up my future. 

The reason Marquillis quelled this fear inside of me was the fact that I had earned his trust and friendship throughout the course of the summer camp.  I became one of his favorite teachers after the lesson I taught where I let the students dress up in a piece of my military uniform.  The boys seemed to agree that Ms. G was pretty cool now that they knew I worked on airplanes. Marquillis even sat with me the one day during gym time while the other students were in the pool. He talked my ear off about all sorts of different things and gave me two of his coveted silly bands that were all the rage with my middle school students.

Perhaps seeing Marquillis on that day was a sign that I should be a teacher. That being a teacher and connecting with students was my real calling or mission in life. That I shouldn't give that up for some boy.

I'm not sure if Marquillis was a sign or not, but the thought of that moment certainly helped me to stand up to Maj and to not back down as he was arguing with me on the phone the following day.  Although Maj ultimately did the official pulling of the plug [and truly did hurt me] I did not back down to him the way I previously had on most things.  I stood my ground and that is what ultimately caused him to end it. 

All through the fall semester I kept thinking back to Marquillis. He had given me the strength I needed. He gave me the confidence I needed. I hope that somewhere during summer camp I was able to give him these things as well. 

I still have the silly bands he gave to me.  They are wrapped around my parking brake in my car, always a reminder that I am a teacher and that I should be one. Marquillis saw it in me & I need to see it in myself.